Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Everclear isn't food dammit
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
