the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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