So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Randomize
