At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
