I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
