So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
How does it feel to date your dad?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize