Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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