I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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