Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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