I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
