My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
