I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
