Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
