You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize