Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
