chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Help. Why am I so naked?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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