we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
