He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
