the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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