how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
