I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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