You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
