That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
