We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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