in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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