I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
