Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
