the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize