I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
