I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
