Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
