Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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