It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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