Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize