Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
