dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize