im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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