Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
