last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We left an ass print on the piano.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I need a beard to bite.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
