im drinking this country out of the recession.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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