Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
