Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize