Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
