we have pet lesbian snakes
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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