So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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