yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
