everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
