hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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