butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
