You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
