I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
