Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
