If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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