i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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