Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
