if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
