..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
