Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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