And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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