lets start a swedish sibling band together
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I need a beard to bite.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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