Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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