i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
