I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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