you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
